On average, one in four children is a young carer. From 1 to 7 June, it was Young Carers Week. The focus was on how to recognise and support young carers. But what is the situation of these children actually like?

Young carers are a diverse group

Some of these children grow up with a parent who has mental health problems, addiction problems or an intellectual disability. Every problem and disability has its own characteristics and manifests itself differently. That is why the impact of these problems differs in every family and for every child. Research shows that children who grow up with a parent with these problems or disabilities are more likely to experience mental health problems.

As an education professional, it is important to be aware of the home situation so that these children can receive appropriate support. You can make a significant difference by recognising the signs in good time.

How do you recognise the signs?

Not every child shows the same signs. This can make it difficult for education professionals to recognise young carers. Some children show little or nothing at all. For example, they try very hard at school and therefore do not stand out. Other children display behavioural problems. Children also often feel very loyal towards their parents, which means they conceal the problems at home. Nevertheless, there are a number of specific things you can look out for.

Children support their parents and take on caring responsibilities

Young carers have responsibilities that are not appropriate for their age. This is called parentification. For example, they take over caring tasks or provide their parents with too much emotional support. This comes at the expense of their own development. For young carers, school can be a safe environment where they can simply be children.

“I felt lonely because I felt guilty that I didn’t feel love for my mother, and because I felt responsible for the family, as my mother couldn’t cope with everything. I was also already doing the administration (secretly) from the age of 12.” – Child of a parent with an intellectual disability

“For me, parentification manifested itself, in addition to the usual forms, in always doing my homework, getting good grades and spending a lot of time at school. This meant that at least my parents did not have to worry about my grades. I was also often tired because I slept poorly at night due to my worries, and I could be very absent during lessons.” – Child of a parent with mental health problems

Feelings of shame and guilt

Young carers often have a strong sense of responsibility. In addition, these children often suffer from feelings of shame and guilt. Children quickly come to think that they are the cause of their parents’ problems. Other signs that often occur include a negative self-image, not bringing friends home, staying at school longer or arriving late at school.

“I tried to attract as little attention as possible. I was the quiet, withdrawn child.” – Child of a parent with an intellectual disability

Tips for education professionals

School can be a protective environment for young carers: a safe place where they feel heard and seen, and where they have positive contact with peers and education professionals. In your role, it is important to look ‘behind the behaviour’: what is the reason this pupil arrives late, stays at school after hours or has not done their homework? Show the child that you are aware of this.

“Don’t lower your expectations of the child, because the children still have a lot of potential at school. Do continue to challenge them, because that distraction is helpful.” – Child of a parent with mental health problems

Advice from young carers themselves

For the report 'Can you hear me?', the Children’s Ombudsman spoke to children of parents with an illness, addiction or disability. The children offered, among others, the following advice:

  • Be alert to signs that things are not going well at home and do not wait too long to take action.
  • Pay attention to us and our needs, even though you are not our support worker. Let us feel that we are not alone and make sure that we also receive support.
  • See us as an ordinary child in a difficult situation, not as a difficult child.

What can the school do?

Recognising signs and providing support is not solely the responsibility of education professionals. It requires a whole-school approach in which all levels of the school get involved. For example, consider questions such as:

  • How do we find out at our school how pupils are doing? For example, through regular check-ins, mentoring conversations and greetings at the door. And how is our contact with parents?
  • Which signalling tool do we use? What does it yield, and what do we do with the information?
  • What do our teachers need in order to identify signs effectively? Consider professional development, training and peer supervision.
  • How do we work together with (care) partners, such as the prevention departments of mental health and addiction services, community teams and welfare organisations? What can they contribute in terms of possible training and support?

Let us work together to ensure that young carers feel heard and seen. Would you like more information about how to promote well-being at school? Visit the Trimbos website about Well-being at School.

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About this blog

The Trimbos Institute is a partner of the Strategic Alliance for Young Carers. This blog is a compilation of knowledge from various areas of expertise. Its content was developed in collaboration with:

  • Vera Ramaker, scientific officer for Mental Health & Prevention, specialising in children of parents with mental health problems, addiction problems and/or a mild intellectual disability.
  • Anne Mooij, Youth Project Officer, specialising in children of parents with a (mild) intellectual disability.

Useful resources ­­

Recognising signs

Conversation with the parent and/or child

  • Conversation tool: Talking with a parent with a mild intellectual disability and the child
  • Worksheet: How do you deal with KOPP/KOV at school?
  • Worksheet: How do you talk to parents about parenting?
  • KOPP/KOV information booklets: The booklets for children and parents contain information, personal stories, tips, websites and interactive exercises.

More information