Finally, he may treat the class to an activity. He calls out loudly: hide-and-seek! Outside! The class plays three rounds. No bag of sweets, no goodie bag, but ten minutes of playing outside, because that is what the birthday boy wants most. This is what a birthday looks like at KC De Haven in Loosdrecht.
The school has been celebrating birthdays without treats of candy or biscuits for a year and a half. Instead, the birthday child is the centre of attention: with choices, attention and an activity for the whole class. A visit to the school shows that the new celebration policy was not introduced without resistance, but has by now simply become the standard.
The decision
The initiative came from principal Albertine Minnigh. When KC De Haven was created a year and a half ago through the merger of two schools, she saw an opportunity to make a fresh start. “I simply don’t like that rat race: bigger, bigger, biggest and more, more, most. It’s about the child, it’s about attention. Equality also plays a part in that. Parents who had the least to spend often came with the biggest treats. They didn’t want to reveal that they were struggling financially.” She presented the proposal for the new celebration policy to the team, and it was accepted. With the benefit of hindsight, she would approach the process somewhat differently: “I would have had more conversations with children and parents. That wouldn’t have changed the policy, but perhaps they would have understood the choice better right away.”
The teacher: getting used to it, but happy
Teacher Mendel (Year 1) has worked in education for forty years. The new policy also solves some issues for her as a teacher: “There were always a few children who brought nothing on their birthday, so you had to improvise somehow; now it’s simply clear what we do.” She understands that some parents are disappointed. She invites all parents to celebrate their child’s birthday together in the classroom. And then she sees that parents, too, are mainly very happy with the attention their child receives. Because birthdays are celebrated extensively: with a decorated throne, a homemade party hat, five songs and a choice of activities. “The fact that the children get to choose more themselves was genuinely added. I can say that it’s really fun to turn five here.”
The pupils: mixed feelings
Joes (Year 5) and Sam (Year 6) are honest: they sometimes miss the sweets, but they understand it too. “The same thing was handed out super often, one after another. Then you also had to tell the person who was very happy: I don’t feel like eating this. And that’s sad too,” says Sam. Joes adds: “Or you quickly put it in your bag and gave it to your sister.” Although they naturally enjoy sweets, they do appreciate the games that have replaced them. Their advice to other schools: “Just don’t think about it too much. Think: I get to choose a game, that’s healthier and it’s genuinely fun too.”
The parents: positive, with a caveat
Mother Frederika mainly sees the advantages. “I no longer have to think about a treat during a week when I’m already busy with a party and presents. I do think it’s important that it is celebrated in the classroom. But I think it’s mainly tradition, that you assume handing out treats is part of it. But perhaps it doesn’t have to be that way at all. So that’s also a bit of a mind shift you make. You can celebrate in a different way than handing out presents in the classroom or eating sweets.” Mother Bourcu agrees and also has a tip for schools that want to take the step: “Just rip off the plaster. And really make it an occasion. Not just a quick hip-hip-hooray, but take an example from how they do it here. Celebrate properly, with lots of attention and enjoyment.”
The grandfathers: just let children be children
Not everyone is convinced. Two grandfathers who are picking up their grandchildren openly express their doubts. “A birthday should simply be celebrated. Just let a child be a child, what’s wrong with that?” says one of them. The other argues for a middle ground: “I would rather say: set limits on what you hand out. But let those children hand things out.”
Meanwhile, the children from Year 2/3 are back inside. The class starts maths and Joas is sitting in his chair again, still wearing the dinosaur-sticker hat. Teacher Anne-Fleur says: “They never feel in this class that they are less celebrated now that they can no longer hand out sweets. There is no competition between them anymore either. Everyone has the same kind of birthday. Ultimately, it’s about attention, and all the children ultimately enjoy that.”
The school day is over, and Joas is looking forward to his birthday party with friends: a treasure hunt in a nearby castle. With cake!
This story was written by Merel Steinweg on behalf of the Alliance for Child Poverty.