What are gender norms?
Martje Heerkens, adviser on sexual integrity, gender equality and inclusion at Stichting School & Veiligheid, explains what gender norms are. “They are the rules that consciously or unconsciously exist about what would be appropriate for girls, boys (and people who do not identify with either of these categories). They arise from stereotypes: fixed ideas about what women and men are ‘just naturally’ like. When these norms become too strict, they can be restrictive.”
Her colleague Melissa Bakker, an adviser on gender and sexual diversity, bullying and polarisation, also sees how these norms affect everyday school practice. “Students constantly receive signals from others in the group. All children want to belong. The stricter the norm, the greater the pressure to adapt.”
When norms become restrictive
Gender norms often seem harmless. That blue is for tough boys and pink for sweet girls. Or that technology is mainly for boys and care mainly for girls. But what happens when students do not fit this ‘stereotypical’ image? They often receive subtle or less subtle signals that this is strange and not acceptable.
Martje gives examples that are often seen among young children: boys wearing a rainbow on their shirt or carrying a pink lunchbox. “Many parents and education professionals recognise that boys soon no longer want these things once they start school, because they are literally told: ‘That’s not for boys.’”
Melissa adds an example from secondary education, where this can be seen in subject-profile and study choices. “If the prevailing image at school is that technology is for boys and art and culture are for girls, it is difficult to choose against that expectation. You often see these images literally reflected on posters around the school. The norm also exists among students: ‘You’re not going to choose technology if you’re a girl, are you?’ Students are then more likely to go along with the prevailing image.”
In this way, gender norms influence not only behaviour, but also development and future prospects. Students may be less free to develop their interests and talents. This directly affects equal opportunities.
Social safety under pressure
Gender norms also influence social safety. When students deviate from what is seen as ‘normal’, they may face exclusion, bullying or gossip. Students who do not recognise themselves in the stereotypical image of a ‘man’ or ‘woman’, or who identify as non-binary, gender-fluid or transgender, experience insecurity more often. They do not fit the expected picture and may therefore be more likely to fall outside the group, be bullied or excluded.
Research shows that at schools where strict gender norms prevail, the risk of sexually transgressive behaviour is greater. Girls and LGBTQ+ students in particular are at greater risk. Martje explains how this is connected to gender norms.
“If, for example, the image is that boys are expected to take the initiative and girls should mainly be accommodating, this increases the likelihood of boundary violations and raises the threshold for saying something when it happens. Conversely, it can also mean that when we teach girls to be assertive and boys to respect boundaries, boys may not recognise themselves as victims when something upsetting happens to them.”
Impact on self-confidence and well-being
Gender norms affect children’s development from an early age. Martje: “For example, we are less likely to teach boys to recognise and put their emotions into words. ‘You don’t need to cry about that, you’re not a girl, are you?’ Children really do hear this. We praise them when they are ‘tough’ and sometimes unconsciously treat them less empathetically than girls. This can affect boys’ mental health and their ability to form social relationships.”
Girls, in turn, are often given less encouragement to develop technically and receive fewer questions or compliments about their performance and technical insight. Through upbringing and education, they sometimes develop less self-confidence in various areas. At school, this can also be seen, for example, in mathematics, which girls may think they are less good at and in which they are also regularly approached based on that expectation.”
European research shows that children experience greater well-being when they are approached in less stereotypical ways and given more space to be themselves.
The role of education professionals
Gender norms do not disappear by themselves. They are often unintentionally maintained, including through the daily actions of education professionals. Melissa emphasises teachers’ role as examples and the importance of being aware of this.
“Take a close look at how you yourself view girls and boys. Who do you give the floor to more often? Who do you ask to carry chairs? What compliments do you give to whom?”
Many teachers want to approach students without prejudice. Nevertheless, unconscious assumptions play a role. That is precisely why awareness is so important. According to Melissa, small changes in language and approach already make a difference. “Don’t say ‘which boys can help for a moment?’ but ‘which students can help?’ Don’t give girls compliments only about their appearance and boys compliments only about their performance; have the same expectations and appreciation for everyone.”
Working towards a positive school climate
“When students feel that they belong, that they receive support from their teacher and that differences are allowed to exist, safety increases,” says Martje. “That is why working on relationships with one another is important.”
“Social norms and rules also play a major role and contribute to greater safety. As a school, clearly state that it is unacceptable to bully someone who identifies differently or does not conform to a stereotype. Establish the norm: at our school, you may be who you are. Regardless of what you look like, what you enjoy or which subjects you choose.”
Working together on change
Schools do not have to do this alone. Within the Worden Wie Je Bent alliance website Worden Wie Je Bent, Stichting School & Veiligheid works together with VHTO, Movisie and Emancipator to broaden choices and break patterns. Schools can make free use of inspiration sessions, a gender scan or the Bias Buster game. Knowledge dossiers, guides and practical tools are also available to get started independently.
Working on awareness that strict gender norms can be restrictive is one way to build structurally towards a safe, positive and inclusive school climate in which every student can develop freely and with equal opportunities.
Melissa: “Being aware of gender norms opens up your world.” Martje adds: “It gives you the opportunity to do things differently. And in doing so, you also give your students more.”