Consider the age and experiences of the students

From Year 3 in primary education, children are aware of world news, so you can talk about it with them. With students in the higher grades, you may be able to watch the Jeugdjournaal. Be careful when using visual material, however, and in any case view the images yourself beforehand: images can increase fear and raise more questions. Work with your team to find ways to deal with this and to strike the right balance.

In secondary and vocational education, many pupils and students appreciate talking and sharing with each other about what they are feeling and experiencing. It is important to pay attention to the differences between students: not everyone wants to talk about it. Respond to what the pupils and students need. By asking about this, you gain insight into what is going on within the group.

Tips for starting the conversation

As a teacher, you are the discussion leader and can guide the dialogue in the right direction. Let pupils or students know what role you are taking in this. For example, explain that you do not know everything either, but that you will ensure that the exchange remains respectful. Make sure the classroom is safe enough for the conversation to take place.

Before starting the conversation, make clear agreements about how you can talk about the subject constructively together. Ideally, let the group come up with these agreements. If an agreement is temporarily forgotten, you can refer back to it. Strong statements that hurt, exclude, discriminate, spread hatred or call for violence must be restricted. You want to discuss with the students how they think about it, but in a respectful way. So remain curious about the students’ perspectives, and correct inflammatory language.

The discussion model below from the Dialogue under Pressure training, developed in cooperation with Leon Meijs, can help you start the conversation in a constructive way:

Example questions for starting the conversation

Here too, take the age and experiences of your students into account. Not all questions are suitable for younger children. This list is not complete or exhaustive. Adapt the questions to what is going on among your students:

  • How did you hear about it: through the media or from someone?
  • What did you do then?
  • Did you talk about it with your parents or other people?
  • Do you think about it often?
  • What do you do when you feel anxious, and what helps?
  • If you did not talk about it, what did you do? Does that help? If not, what does help?
  • How did your parents react?

Pay attention to emotions

As school leaders, pay attention to emotions, both those of students and those of colleagues or yourself. An event like this can bring emotions to the surface. Emotions therefore require attention, including at schools—from and for staff, and from and for pupils and students. Let pupils and students know whom they can turn to if they want to talk to someone about their concerns, feelings and/or fears.

Support from Stichting School & Veiligheid

Stichting School & Veiligheid offers support in the form of tips and background information on dealing with emotions during distressing events.

Through the Expertisepunt Burgerschap, we support teachers in primary, secondary and vocational education in conducting difficult conversations. More information can be found on the Difficult Conversations website.

In addition to this information, you can always contact the Advice Centre for help, advice and support: 030 – 2856 616. The Advice Centre can be reached every school day from 9:00 a.m. to 4:00 p.m.

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Would you like to know more about how to have a safe conversation with your students about a distressing event or how to teach a lesson about it?