You probably know the situation: a preschooler in your group can suddenly become very angry or sad, seemingly out of nowhere. It is certainly recognisable, because this is part of young children’s development. At home, for example, our then four-year-old daughter suddenly sent the game board flying when she threatened to lose, adding, ‘You’re cheating!’ She stomped off to her room and left us behind in amazement. She is now six and can cope with the disappointment when someone else wins. She no longer stomps off to her room, but congratulates the winner, although sometimes with some reluctance.
Young children still have to learn how to regulate their behaviour and emotions. What can you do to teach them to regulate their emotions and behaviour more effectively? And why is this important?
Self-regulation is essential for success at school
Self-regulation means that you can regulate and direct your own behaviour and emotions; it is also referred to as a brake on your behaviour and emotions. You have probably seen the marshmallow test, in which children are asked to wait to eat a marshmallow until the researcher returns. This is a good example of self-regulation.
At school, children are expected to demonstrate a great deal of self-regulation. For example, they must be able to sit still for longer periods, wait their turn, control their emotions and adapt to others. Self-regulation is an important skill that can be encouraged from an early age and is essential for success at school. Previous research has shown that self-regulation is often less well developed in children from disadvantaged backgrounds, who are at increased risk of educational delays [1]. That is why it is important to pay attention to self-regulation precisely during the preschool and early school years, partly in preparation for what is expected of children in Year 3.
Learning self-regulation through simple games
The development of self-regulation can sometimes be more difficult. The part of the brain that controls emotions and behaviour is still developing rapidly in young children. As a result, they are not yet able to direct their behaviour and emotions optimally [2]. Research [3] shows that simple games and everyday tasks can help children develop their self-regulation. Examples of the simple games used in the research include doing puzzles together, making music, hopscotch, building with blocks and skipping rope. By playing these kinds of games, children learn through play to wait their turn, think about their next turn and control their frustration when things do not go as they hope or expect. You can read more about this in this blog.
Supporting self-regulation in everyday practice
Without realising it, you already support the development of self-regulation in many situations; just think of the example of playing a game with our eldest daughter. Through external support, for example visual support or naming the emotion (I think you are sad because you think you are going to lose), young children develop their self-regulation. It is important that this external support gradually decreases and that the child’s self-regulation becomes increasingly stronger.
Role play and play in general are very effective ways of working on self-regulation without turning it into ‘lessons’. When learning through play, children learn to cope with disappointments (I cannot be the waiter because someone else already is), wait their turn (in the restaurant, waiting until you can sit at a table) and listen carefully in order to take the customer’s order. By being aware of this and using play as a means of support, the development of self-regulation in young children becomes even more integrated into your daily (play-based) practice.
Three tips for improving self-regulation at home and at school
Support children in developing self-regulation, for example by helping them name their emotions (I can see that you are angry) and offering comfort when they are disappointed (I understand that you are sad). Or help them by explicitly stating the rules, for example.
Be aware of the development of self-regulation during role play. Provide challenging role play in your group and join in regularly, so that you can support the children in developing their self-regulation.
Encourage parents and children to play simple games at home. You can provide targeted suggestions for games, such as doing puzzles together, building with blocks or playing a board game. In this way, children learn through play to wait their turn, think about their next turn and control their frustration when things do not go as they hope or expect.
Want to read more about self-regulation?
Musical chairs! It is not the activity that matters, but the goal you aim to achieve with it.
How do you deal with children who move around a lot?
Self-direction as the basis for a child’s development
Sources:
[1] Sardes https://docplayer.nl/21969052-Zelfsturing-als-basis-voor-de-ontwikkeling-van-het-kind.html
[2] https://earlyyearsblog.nl/2020/05/08/help-wat-voel-ik/
[3] https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2019/03/190321102838.htm