Useful but also complicated

Group chats make it easy for parents (and sometimes teachers too) to get in touch with one another. Parents, children and the school can quickly connect with each other, and information is easily shared.

Chapter 2 of The State of the Parent also shows that group chats are not always used as intended. What starts as practical communication sometimes turns into lengthy discussions, unclear or contradictory information, or messages that are not relevant to everyone. For some parents this works well, while for others it is stressful.

Tip for parents: ask yourself whether you need to respond to everything. Often, simply reading along is enough. You do not have to respond to every message. You can often also turn off notifications in an app. This allows you to read the messages at a time that suits you.

Differences in expectations cause friction

Not everyone uses a group chat in the same way. One person sees it as a practical tool, while another sees it as a place for detailed discussion or to express frustrations.

These differing expectations can lead to irritation among the participants in the group. This may concern:

  • messages sent at inappropriate times
  • discussions that get out of hand
  • or uncertainty about what is and is not ‘appropriate’

Tip for parents: keep messages short and clear. Are you unsure whether something is suitable for the group chat? Ask yourself: is this relevant to everyone? Also, do not be afraid to politely point out when you feel that a message is not appropriate for the group.

Group chats are not always easy for children either

For children, group chats are often the main way to stay in touch with classmates. This can be enjoyable, but also difficult. Think of being excluded from a group that other classmates are part of, peer pressure, or (unpleasant) messages that keep coming, even after school hours.

Contact with classmates therefore no longer takes place only on the school playground. A phone, laptop or tablet has now become a ‘digital school playground’ where contact between classmates continues.

Tip for parents: talk to your child about group chats. Ask open questions and give your child the opportunity to share more themselves. This will help you understand what is going on without immediately judging or monitoring them.

Read The State of the Parent 2026 here.