Gossiping among children and young people: is it harmful and what can I do?

What is gossiping?

Gossiping means talking about someone who is not present. What is said about someone can be negative or positive. Nevertheless, people more often associate gossiping with talking negatively about someone.

Why do people gossip?

Wherever there are people, there is gossip. So, in the classroom, at the sports club, in the family and at the community centre. Gossiping serves a purpose. It is a way to convey information and share emotions. By gossiping, you can influence others and strengthen your own position in a group. It also teaches you the unwritten rules within a group.

Is gossiping bad?

Yes and no. It depends on why people gossip. Gossiping can be well-intentioned, for example when you are concerned about someone else: “Did you see that? Lucas doesn’t have lunch with him again. I wonder if he’s okay?”

Gossiping also has positive effects. It creates a stronger bond and more trust between people. However, these benefits only apply to the people who gossip.

For others, the consequences are often negative. This applies to the person being gossiped about and to the atmosphere within the group. For example, when mean things are said, someone is ridiculed or laughed at. “Did you see her outfit? It really doesn’t look good!”

Gossiping may sometimes seem harmless, but it can have a major impact on the well-being and development of children and young people.

Five tips for professionals: what can you do when people gossip?

1. Address children when you see gossiping taking place in the group. Ask why they are gossiping and what effect it has on them and on the group. This teaches them what effect gossiping can have on the other person, and that this differs from person to person.
2. Establish rules of conduct with the group about talking about one another. Include the online world in this. For example, also establish rules for the group chat.
3. Discuss these rules with the parents and carers, so that they can also discuss them with their child.
4. Teach children how they can help one another when gossiping occurs. If children know what they can do, it sometimes lowers the threshold for them to help. Watch this video together or find inspiration in the Everyone Can Help lesson plan.
5. Reflect on your own actions. As a professional, you are a role model. The way you talk about others in the presence of children has an influence. A positive atmosphere in a group therefore starts with you.