In this fourth article in a series about bullying, the bully takes center stage: why do some children or young people choose to deliberately hurt others? It examines who bullies are, what drives them and how bullying behavior can be recognized. It also discusses whether bullies can change. The central message is: bullying is never an isolated phenomenon, but is always part of a broader social context.
Types of bullies
There is not just one type of bully. Bullies differ in behavior, motives and social position. The literature distinguishes three main types:
1 The leading, dominant bully
This bully takes a central role in the group and often has considerable influence, even though he or she is not necessarily well-liked. A distinction is made between likability (being regarded as nice) and popularity
(status and influence). The leading bully generally scores high on popularity but low on likability. He or she uses aggression and dominance to gain power. This behavior is often tolerated or even rewarded by classmates because the bully comes across as funny or tough.
2 The follower
Not every bully is a leader. Followers support the bullying behavior of others, often without taking the initiative themselves. There are two subtypes:
- The assistant, who actively joins in as soon as the leader starts bullying.
- The reinforcer, who encourages bullying behavior by laughing, encouraging or cheering, but does not display direct bullying behavior themselves.
Both types often underestimate their influence. Their behavior is strongly influenced by peer pressure and the classroom climate. In an unsafe group culture, the likelihood of following along is greater.
3 The bully-victim
This group both bullies others and is bullied themselves. They are often emotionally vulnerable and unpredictable in their behavior. The bullying stems from insecurity, fear or frustration. Bully-victims generally have more psychological problems than other types of bullies or victims. They often feel threatened or excluded and use bullying as a defense mechanism. They score low on likability and have difficulty forming friendships.
What drives bullies?
Bullying behavior is rarely simply about 'being mean'. Psychological and social motives often underlie it. Three important drivers are discussed:
- Strengthening social position
Status plays a major role, especially for dominant bullies. In a hierarchical classroom environment, bullying is deliberately used as a strategy to gain or maintain power. Even students without much status may use bullying to feel more popular or to avoid being excluded from the group themselves. Recent research distinguishes between the motivation to want to be popular and the fear of being unpopular – both can encourage bullying behavior. - The need for control or self-affirmation
Some bullies seek control through bullying behavior in a life that feels unsafe outside of school. This often occurs in children with an unstable home situation or a lack of emotional support. Bully-victims in particular fit this profile. By dominating others, they temporarily experience a sense of control and self-confidence, even though this occurs in a destructive way. - Lack of empathy or moral awareness
Children with little ability to empathize do not recognize another person's pain well, resulting in less inhibition against bullying. Sometimes there is also moral disengagement: the child justifies the behavior (“He asked for it”). In children with ‘callous-unemotional traits’ – characteristics such as emotional coldness or insensitivity – the risk of bullying behavior is especially high.
How do you recognize bullies?
Bullies do not always behave conspicuously in the presence of adults. Their behavior often takes place outside the view of teachers and parents. Nevertheless, there are signs that may point to bullying behavior:
- Systematically excluding others or refusing to work with certain classmates.
- Showing a lack of empathy.
- Responding impulsively, angrily or aggressively.
- Displaying dominance outside the view of adults.
- Having difficulty accepting rules or corrections.
The classroom situation also provides clues:
- There is a strong hierarchy in the classroom.
- The teacher-student relationship is distant.
- The group climate is unsafe or tense.
- Aggressive behavior is rewarded with status.
- Negative behavior is regarded as ‘normal’.
These signs do not necessarily indicate bullying, but they are reason to investigate the group dynamics further.
Can a bully change?
Yes, bullies can change their behavior, provided the right support is offered. Because bullying behavior results from a mix of personal, social and contextual factors, behavioral change is possible if intervention takes place at multiple levels.
Effective interventions focus on:
- Teaching social skills and empathy.
- Strengthening self-reflection and emotional regulation.
- Changing group norms: bullying must not pay off.
Anti-bullying programs that use a restorative approach, involve parents and focus on a positive classroom climate have been proven effective. Children learn to take responsibility for their behavior, while the social environment actively contributes to behavioral change.
Conclusion
Bullies are not a homogeneous group. One bully seeks power, another seeks affirmation or is a victim themselves. What they have in common is that their behavior is rooted in social processes: bullying happens in a group, not in a vacuum.
It is therefore essential not only to focus on the bully as an individual, but especially to look at the context in which the behavior arises. Only when group dynamics, classroom structure and relationships within the child's upbringing are taken into account can we tackle bullying effectively – and help bullies change their behavior.
This article is a summary. Read the full article here on wij-leren.nl
Read part 1 in this series here: social dynamics in the classroom
Read part 2 in this series here: the many faces of bullying
Read part 3 in this series here: the victim in focus