Stress in the family
Problems at home can have a variety of causes. However different they may be, what they often have in common is that they cause stress in the family. This affects the healthy development of children and the extent to which a pupil is able to learn. Stress can have a negative impact on caregivers' self-image and self-confidence. How caregivers are doing affects both their parenting and how well they can respond to what their child needs.
Stress can be relatively short-lived, for example when someone in the family has died and there is a period of mourning. But stress can also continue for a long time, for example when the family does not have enough money to make ends meet each month.
Stress becomes unhealthy when there is a feeling that the situation cannot be adequately controlled. A wide range of physical and mental problems can arise within the family. You may notice changes in the pupil, such as tiredness due to poor sleep, anxiety, frequent crying, withdrawn behaviour or truancy. If you are concerned about a pupil because there is prolonged stress in the family, consider what you can do to help.
What can I do if I am concerned about the home situation?
When you have concerns about a pupil's home situation, it is a good idea to discuss them. This can be with the pupil themselves and with the caregivers. In most cases, you can ask the school's internal support coordinator or support coordinator for assistance. External care and safety partners can also help you. But how should you approach this?
Talking to the pupil
First of all, you can talk to the child themselves about your concerns. For example, tell them what you have noticed about your pupil's behaviour, statements or emotions. You can also talk more generally about, for example, 'children whose parents are getting divorced' or 'families that are struggling to pay their bills'. Make sure that the pupil does not feel uncomfortable. A child must have the option of not wanting to talk about the subject. You can ask how things are going and whether they would like to talk about it with their parents sometime.
Also read How do I talk to a child when I suspect child abuse?
Talking to caregivers
Tell them what you see or experience and why you are concerned. What do you notice in the pupil, their caregivers or the family? Ask how they experience this. Tell the caregivers that support is available. Together, find out who or which organisation they can turn to. Help them make contact, for example by accompanying them, calling or inviting an external professional to a follow-up appointment together.
The school's support structure
There are various steps that can be taken at school to initiate help. It is of course helpful to do this in consultation with the child or young person and their caregivers. But sometimes you may also want to consult a colleague about how to approach the situation and what options the school has for supporting the family.
You can have such a conversation with the internal support coordinator or the support coordinator. Within the organisation, they are well informed about the steps to be taken, reporting codes and protocols. Schools also often have a designated officer for domestic violence and child abuse. These colleagues know the school's support structure, so that external partners can be involved when necessary.
Also read What do you discuss in a multidisciplinary meeting?
The causes of problems at home
The causes of problems at home vary. Read more about:
Recognising and discussing poverty
Talking to parents who are getting divorced
Mental health problems in one or both parents
How do I talk to parents about child abuse?
Read more about the following topics on the websites below: