Recognising bullying

Bullying involves negative intent. The negative actions are directed systematically at the same person. There is also an imbalance of power. To address bullying, it is important to recognise it. According to biologist and bullying researcher Patrick van Veen (Apemanegement), recognising bullying is difficult because the teacher is part of the group in which the bullying takes place: “Teachers appear to observe only twenty percent of bullying behaviour.”

In addition, as a teacher, you simply cannot observe everything. Outside your view, students bully one another by the lockers, in the schoolyard, in the corridors, in the cafeteria and, last but not least, on social media. Be alert to signs of bullying such as:

  • The student is often absent or ill.
  • The student is addressed by classmates using a nickname.
  • The student’s results suddenly become worse.
  • The student is regularly chosen last when dividing into groups or working together.
  • The student is often alone during breaks.
  • The student comes to class well before the lesson begins or stays behind after the lesson.

Read more: Bullying in the classroom: addressing and preventing it.

What can you do as a teacher?

  • Observe closely and try to catch the bully in the act.
  • Consult with colleagues: have they noticed anything?
  • Talk to other students.
  • Contact the parents and express your concern.

How do I support the victim?

  • Take their story seriously, pay attention to their feelings and support them.
  • Never blame them: “You need to stand up for yourself more.”
  • Discuss with them the steps you will take.

What do I do with the bully?

  • Speak to them privately and tell them what you saw.
  • Do not hurt or humiliate them.
  • Make it clear that you do not tolerate their behaviour. They will have to make amends.

How do I support the parents?

  • For the bully’s parents, the news may come across as accusatory. Tell them what you saw and refresh their memory about your school’s anti-bullying policy. Tell them what sanction their child will receive.
  • Encourage parents of bullied children to talk to their child. Reassure them as well: you will take action against it. Recommend undertaking activities outside school, such as gymnastics or music school. Have them keep a bullying log, recording who, what, where and when. Advise them not to contact the bully’s parents.

And the classmates?

Do not avoid having a class discussion. Discuss the difference between teasing and bullying. Explain what the consequences may be. Clearly indicate that the perpetrator’s behaviour crossed the line. Work together to find solutions to make it safe and pleasant for everyone in the class again. Follow up on the proposals and agreements made.

What is an appropriate punishment for a bully?

  • Keep the future promising for every student. The bully is given opportunities to turn things around. Do not push the victim into a corner: it is not their fault.
  • Do not create fear: the victim should not be afraid of reprisals. Do not humiliate the bully or isolate them, as exclusion would, for example.
  • The punishment restores the victim’s need that was compromised by the bullying (e.g. their sense of safety in the playground).
  • Have the bully make amends; in other words, require an effort from the perpetrator.
  • Set clear boundaries: anyone who goes too far receives a clear signal. That signal is also important for the group’s sense of safety.
  • Ensure that the bully can redirect their behaviour themselves. The perpetrator remains responsible.
  • Ensure that the punishment is acceptable to those around them (class, parents, victim…) and follow up on the agreements carefully.